October 28, 2006

Last Football Game of the Season

Tonight was the last home football game that I will ever go to in high school, quite the milestone. The football team won, yay, and the band marched and played well. We also were definitely grooving to some pep band tunes (I have way too much fun during those) but overall, things were pretty ordinary. . . .until about 4 minutes left in the 1st quarter. It is Michael tradition to always yell "PI!!!!!!!" when there are 3 minutes and 14 seconds left in the quarter. Well, this was my last shot at a home game to accomplish this, so I was ready. I even yelled to our Drum Major to not start a song until Pi was over.

[1 second long pause]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!! The scoreboard freaking paused at freaking 3:15 and skipped freaking pi and went straight to freaking 3:13!!!!! I yelled "PI- wait, what? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" and everybody laughed and it was terrible. I don't know what would possess the scoreboard to ruin the last chance I had to cheer for pi, but it was a cruel thing to do and I will forever hate that scoreboard. Forever. Hated. Boo.

After the game we went to Sharis. I got lost on the way there, I blame my navigator, Margaret. Eventually we made it to Sharis and got seated and everything. That's when the fun began. I was sitting next to a friend who's in college now, and across from us was a freshman flute player. For anonymity's sake, we'll call her "Liz". Here is a picture of "Liz":

She's the one in the black jacket. Anyway, it came time to order DRINKS. Consider the following transcript:

Waitress: Would anybody else like something to drink?
Liz: I do!
Waitress: What do you want?
(Liz is already distracted and talking to somebody else)
Liz (upon realizing she still hadn't ordered her drink): Huh? Oh.
Waitress: What do you want?
Liz: I want a shhhhhhhhhh--
[Whole table just kinda gapes at her]
Waitress: A what?
Liz: I, I, um
Person1: A shhhhhhh-ake?
Liz: No, no, a, um, (waves hands around) a thing, that one thing.
Person2: A shake?
Person3: Liz, are you ok?
Liz (completely confused and overwhelmed by this point): I want a shhhhhhhh- root beer.
[The whole table just kinda stares at her like What in God's name is wrong with you?!?!?.]

There is a break while we wait for the drinks to come. Consider the following transcript:

Liz: Do buffaloes have wings?
Person1 (sarcastically): Of course they do, where do you think buffalo wings come from?
Liz: Really? I had no idea. (catches on that something may be amiss)
Liz (turns to ask somebody else): Do buffaloes really have wings?
Person2: Of course, duh.
Liz: Really?
Person3: Yeah, but only American buffaloes, not European ones.
Person4: Haven't you ever seen a buffalo Liz? That furry brown part by their heads is actually their wings folded up.
Liz: I had no idea, really?
Person1: Yeah, why weren't you ever taught this?

Liz continues to fret about the existence of buffalo wings and eventually turns to asking every single person at the table and asking if buffaloes have wings. We all convinced her that buffaloes do indeed have wings. We laughed a lot, Liz was completely confused.

Drinks arrived and they asked if we wanted to order FOOD. Liz's turn:

Liz: I want a shake!

[collective groan and various heads banging against the table]

Waitress: What flavor?

Liz points to the menu that only she can see: That one! Wait, I mean, strawberry.
(she leans over to the person next to her and says I forgot that she couldn't see the menu when I told her the flavor! )

(More collective groaning)

Liz did make a point of telling all of us multiple times that she wasn't stupid.

Liz: I'm not stupid.

But then she'd follow it up with statements like

Liz: I'm going to college!

And we'd all die, figuratively of course, laughing. Ah, freshmen. My college companion leaned over and said "If she were in my section I might go insane". Indeed. . . .indeed.

After dinner, it was time to go home, but I had to drive somebody home first. I'm bad at directions, really bad. It's not a big deal when people tell me how to get to their house, but getting away and back home after I drop them off is a whole different story. Well, tonight was not a good night. I had to turn left/right on 6 different streets before reaching this person's house. Oh yeah, sure, I know exactly how to get home, right! Lost in suburbia at 11 at night, lovely. So, I drove around a little bit and eventually made it onto the main street, but sheesh, come on people! Live somewhere convenient, not somewhere that's going to get me lost! Think of the directionally challenged people out there!

So that was my night, quite exciting. Football, buffaloes, and getting lost. Hope you enjoyed the entry. It's midnight now and I want to got to bed, so bye!


christy said...

Great blog michael! Everything about tonight was hillarious, especially "Liz" who says that she isnt stupid, but lacks common sense....If only brandon hadnt told her that buffaloes really dont have wings....oh well. And, i know how hard it is to get to that house with directions, and how seemingly impossible it is to get out of that neighborhood in the dark without directions. I get lost everytime i take them home!
See you tomorrow, or today!...In 8 hours and 45 minutes....

Margaret said...

Ahhh Liz, she may be the thickest person I know. I love the "I'm going to college" section. As for directions, I'm horrible at giving them, and you're horrible at taking them, so I knew you were bound to get lost. That was a very amusing night. See ya today!

D.White said...

That was so classic.......I made one of these blog thingys....

put my PCI band host memory on there....it's good...and full of spelling/grammar errors....

Molly said...

Hahahaha Lizz.....shes great!!!!! I think I'm going to go get a picture of buffalos with wings for her right now! hahaha. And I'm sorry about pi.

Bekah said...

OMG... I think that was just about the funniest night I've ever had at Sheri's... last year and this year combined! I was sitting next to Liz and I was doubled over like half the time. I was still laughing when I got home... and then I read your blog about it and I about died! Ahh, good old Sharis. Don't worry about getting lost... I definitely got Christy lost. Anyways, I'll see you at practice tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

thanks snivley... jerk.
it's so not funny. and i know buffalo's DON'T have wings! i've known since the very begining. ha! i win! and i am going to college. why is that so funny? i got my report card and i got all really good grades... mostly... but i got a B in band... how i manged that i don't really know yet... hum... i think i'll ponder about that... i can't believe you have a picture of me. that's a really bad one too. i hate you snivly jerk. oh well i have a fun time at sharis. but ya, i'm not stupid! HA!
see you tomorrow at the pumpkin carving contest!!!
~ "lizz" herself....
you didn't even spell my name right. i spell it with 2 z's
so there.

Anonymous said...