Binders

I have remembered a legendary Snively family story that I haven’t blogged yet! I was very excited! Here we go with the exciting tale of The Binders!!!

It was an average day. School just let out and I was about to go home. My dad pulled up and I hopped into the car. “Hi dad!” “Hi son. Son, I might have made a mistake.”

This is when little alarm bells go off inside my head. My dad makes mistakes all the time, but he never actually calls them mistakes. When he uses the word “mistake”, it’s time to start listening.

“Um, what’d you do dad?”
“Well, I was on eBay, and I found something.”
“Did you buy it dad?”
“Yes.”
“How much was it (thinking it was probably ridiculously expensive)?”
“$12.00”
“Well that’s not so bad! What’d you buy?”
“Some binders.”
“Wait. . . why’d you buy binders on eBay?”
“Well, they were government surplus and they were cheap so I bought them and went and picked them up today.”
“How many did you buy?”
“A bunch.”
“(Realizing that I was getting closer to the mistake part of my dad’s experience) How much is a bunch dad?”
“Well. . .”
“30?”
“Um.”
“50?”
“Well. . .”
“Dad, how many binders are in our house right now?”
“700 pounds”
“WHAT?!?!?!? WHY IN GOD’S NAME DID YOU BUY 700 POUNDS OF BINDERS?!?!?!?”
“Well, it was a good price!”
“HOW MANY BINDERS IS THAT?!”
“A palette”
“Oh my god, you’re kidding, right? You bought 700 pounds of binders?”

We’re home by this time and have started down the driveway. As we reach the bottom I see the “mistake”

“Oh lord dad, what have you done?”

In the back of his truck is not just a palette of binders, but a HEAPING palette of binders. Overflowing. Binders that, if laid end to end, would encircle the globe. There were a LOT of binders.

“So, son, your job today. . .”
“No.”
“Is to. . .”
“No dad, I won’t do it.”
“Unload and sort all the binders”
“NO! You bought them, you do it!”
“Nope, it’s your responsibility.”
“I hate you dad.”
“I love you too son.”

I spent the next six hours of my life sorting 700 pounds of three ring binders by ring size, putting them into boxes, and carting the boxes of binders to our basement. It was dark by the time I’d finished.

This was in 7th grade. Guess what’s still in our basement. We still have about 5 boxes of binders left, about 50 binders total. Most binders were either given away (about a hundred had this fate), used for school projects, trashed, or used for some other purpose. We still have no idea what to do with the rest.

So that’s my binder story. Exciting, isn’t it? Remember, next time you buy government surplus, be careful of how much you buy. You may get a deal that really is too good and too true.