August 28, 2006

Dial Up

In a world where technology is outpacing just about everything, it seems as though I, a technology addict and self-professed g33k, should be on the ball and rolling with the changes. Alas, there is one cruel and inescapable irony that comes with this brave new world. While little old ladies and technology impaired single moms everywhere are getting their brand new broadband connections and "Surfing the Net", I am relegated to the slow world of dial up. I equate having dial up to having some type of disability. People just assume that everybody has DSL or broadband, so I'll get links from friends that say "Go check out this video on Youtube!" or "Have you seen that trailer yet?!?!?" or "Hear, I'll e-mail you a song, download it!". The saddest part is that many of them have never actually had dial up, and when I tell them that I have it, they say "Oh, well, this song isn't too long, only about 3 minutes". Ok, um, just a heads up. A 3 minute song takes about 45 minutes to download on this end partner.

THEM: "Check out this video!"
ME: "How big is it?"
THEM: "Let me check. Oh, only about 12 megabytes, not bad"
ME: "Um, no way. Not going to happen."

12 mb on dial up equals a good 3 hours. No joke.

It irks me that I have to endure dial up when I believe that I should at least be on the same playing field as the rest of the planet! All these videos on my blog, save for the Cavaliers Show, were uploaded at my home. That's dedication right there. It wasn't just a click, boom, post thing. It took an hour and a half to upload each video, just so I could share it with you! The Cavaliers show I watched at school and posted it. It is not dial up friendly, I apologize to anybody with dial up trying to watch it. Don't.

But, I try to look at the positives. Since everything takes a while to load, I am a very efficient and deadly web surfer. I will find exactly what I'm looking for on the first or second page I open, whereas those desperate housewives with their new-fangled computers with high-speed internet will take hours to find something. People wonder how I can do what I do on the internet with dial up, I'm somewhat of an dial up ninja. Just imagine what I could do with broadband! I have learned patience with dial up (I'm not just saying that, I actually am a patient person thanks to dial up). True, media destroys my computer and people cannot call me for hours at a time, but I am a ninja of the interweb, one shot one kill web searches and a blog that basically kicks butt, despite the slow connection. I am efficient, I am better than anybody out there with broadband because I am not conforming, I do not need mySpace or Youtube. I have found the better half of the internet that is not saturated with wannabe emos. Dial up opens up doors that people with broadband blaze right past. Dial up, although a slight inconvenience and media killer, does do good things!


Michelle said...

Oh my goodness Michael. I think no one has commented on this blog because no one can relate to your terror of dial-up, but I certainly can. I, like you, have never had fast internet, and you're right, it makes one more efficient and patient indeed. I've only gotten to watch one of your freaking videos because it was only 23 seconds or so. I refuse to get a myspace and be like the rest of the world. I just thought I'd let you know that you're not the only one out there who deals with this struggle. Congratulations on embracing it and making the best of a truly sucktastic situation.

Greg said...

Lol, dial up n00b.

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