March 24, 2006

Licking my head?!?!?!?

Yesterday was the second installment of the district qualifying rounds for state but this time it was all debate. It was definitely an experience, and most of the experience had nothing to do with the debates I did. I have a couple of stories, so I'll tell them one at a time.
  1. DEBATE OUTCOMES: I do Lincoln-Douglas debate, which is a one on one debate over a resolution (topic) that is predecided. You research and write an affirmative and negation case and have to debate both sides at the tournament. At this tournament three people were elegible to qualify for state competition. The reason 3 were able to qualify is because 6 people were debating LD, but there's trickery behind that. Of the 6 debating, three were just there as "sacrificial lambs", destined to lose in order to send more people to state. I was one of those lambs. I can debate and can hold my own fairly well, but I don't particularly enjoy debate as much as some, I'd rather go for the indirect competition like sock monkey speech than go head to head with somebody else. Anywho, I was approached and asked to do this on Tuesday. Yes, I had 2 days to write my cases, including research. After a lot of help from the other debators on my team (thanks) I had two fairly decent cases. So, now for the debates. One girl that was competing had qualified for Nationals in debate, so it was a given that we were going to lose to her and it was a fight for 2nd and 3rd. So, we debated. My first round seemed to go well, I felt confident and it wasn't a massacre or anything, I thought I made the better arguments. That's the same as my third round, I was pretty sure that I had that one in the bag because I pretty much ripped apart my oponent's case. The second round however, can be best described as "Hello, my name is Michael, and I've been raped by a five foot nothing cute blonde girl that is going to Nationals and, although nice looking, is as vicious as a shark and will eat you alive, then pick her teeth with your bones. How are you?" Yeah, it was ugly, she dissected my entire case and turned all my contentions before explaining rather efficently how all of my contentions actually supported her case and that my case was, essentially, a steaming pile of cow dung. I left that round feeling, well, like a steaming pile of cow dung. There were only three rounds, so at awards I found out that I had come in 4th of six and was an alternate for state. Of course, all three people that did qualify will be going, so I won't be pulling my alternate duty. Here's the weird part, ready? I lost my first and third rounds. I, actually, got smoked my first and third rounds. The second round, the raped by the shark round, I won. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?!?! The sacrificial lamb loses to two random people and then is the only person that beats the national qualifier? Sigh, I just don't understand these things. Oh well, it works out well for me, because now I don't have to debate at state (which I didn't want to do in the first place), I get a certificate, and I beat a national qualifier, so I'm happy. Yay for weird coincidences.
  2. UNO!: So, on the way to the tournament we stopped at the grocery store for food but instead of food, I bought UNO! OMG, what a great game! It is the official speech and debate team game now. 7 people all huddled around playing Uno and insulting each other so as to warm up for their next round is really fun! I've never heard more creative bad mouthing and more delibrate backstabbing! "Ooooo! Draw 4 B_t_h_s! What now?!?!? Uh oh! Stack that you J_w, draw eight! Oh yeah?!?!? I made my own card so now you draw 20 you M_T_E_ F_C_E_!" Keep in mind, I wasn't the one cussing like a sailor, but it was funny. The debate crowd can get lively.
  3. HEAD LICKING: All right, this is a weird one, so get ready. I was sitting there and a girl named Sasha came up and rubbed the back of my head. I have short hair so the hair on the back of my head feels cool when rubbed, so it wasn't a surprise when she rubbed my head. A lot of people do it. Anyways, she says "Sorry, I had to feel your head, it feels really cool." I politely agree and let her know it's ok and that a lot of people do it. Here is the really quite creepy part. She says, to my utter shock "You know what feels really good, both for both of us? If somebody has a cowlick there on the back of their head and you lick it. It feels really cool both for the person licking and the person being licked, but I won't lick you because I don't know you. . ." [pause, I just kinda sit there, stunned]. "Um, yeah" I say, finding words, "you don't know me so that wouldn't really be a good idea." That's it, that's all I could say. WTF do you say to that? She was practically asking if she could lick the back of my head! After she left, I whipped around and asked my girlfriend (who was sitting there the whole time) "Um, that was weird, wasn't it?" "Yes" "Normal people don't do that, right?" "No" "Did she seriously want to lick the back of my head? How would she ever know how that would feel? Does she lick peoples' heads?" "Um, weird" "Wow". Yeah, it was definitely strange and I'm not sure I'll ever let anybody lick the back of my head, but if anybody has experienced this type of activity then I'd like to hear from you and know if it actually does feel cool, because I probably will never experience it.

Yep, there it is, debate for me. I am done debating for the year, so now all focus is on sock monkey. That should be fun. Ok, that's all for now, thanks for reading!